Chapter 4: Lawyerin’. Really useless
lawyerin’.
Joe’s
lawyer, Ross Dempsey, is described as a “handsome bachelor” which makes me
think he might make an appearance in a later book in this series, and “one of the
most prominent sports-and-entertainment attorneys in the area” (48) and he sees
Emma and Joe right away. After they explain the situation, he asks all the
pertinent questions.
“Did the two of you get divorced? Was
the marriage annulled? How long were you married?”
(52)
The
couple answers only the last question with “Thirty minutes.” Joe clarifies that
the justice of the peace who’d married them tore up the papers and had “the
marriage wiped completely off the books” (53). But a phone call later the
lawyer confirms that the marriage was not “annulled or expunged.” Thus, Joe and
Emma have been married for the past seven years.
I
hadn’t expected the secret marriage to have been secret to even the
participants. That’s kinda fun.
Ross
asks if the two of them consummated the marriage, and of course they both said
no. He clarifies that he means within the past seven years and they still say
no. Geez, Ross, did you not read the title of this book?
Legally,
Ross declares that they shouldn’t have a problem fixing things, as long as both
Emma and Joe have the same story about what happened the previous Friday when
they were caught naked in each other’s arms. However, the public relations side
of things is going to be a nightmare. Now that the marriage is no longer a
secret (even to the participants!), explaining away the events will be more
difficult.
…Joe explained carefully, “I think
what Ross is trying to say is that people are going to speculate that you and I
have been carrying on with each other all along and hiding it from everyone.
For kicks, I guess” (54).
See,
that part seems strange to me. Sure, it’s going to cause speculation; it’s a
weird situation and difficult to explain. But the fact that “for kicks” is the
best reason for the two of them to have kept it quiet—and what kicks would
those be??—is what makes it seem that people would actually buy the true story.
(On the other hand, I’m sure people could come up with other reasons… I’m not
sure that I can come up with a good
reason… Other than that Saul hated Joe so much that he wouldn’t allow him and
Emma to marry? So they did it secretly and kept it secret for seven years… it
just doesn’t make sense. Especially since surely Joe has dated in those seven
years and in doing so probably had a few publicity photos with those dates.)
The
three of them briefly discuss what happened in the intervening seven years,
particularly the direct aftermath of Saul catching Emma and Joe together. Joe
was sent back to the minors then traded “to the lowest-standing team in the AHL”
(54). That sucks, but there’s two problems with that comment. First, it sounds
like he was intentionally (under Saul’s command) traded to the worst AHL team,
but I can’t see teams making business choices (players are expensive) based
entirely on revenge, particularly since it would require multiple teams’
managements to agree, including that low-ranking AHL team. Second, so what if
the AHL team is low-ranking? I mean, sure, everyone wants to win, but the
ranking of the AHL team has little to do with the ranking of the parent NHL
club. Not to mention, the players’ biggest goal is to get called up to the NHL
team—winning the Calder Cup is *a* goal, but not the big goal. In fact, being
an excellent player on a bad AHL team might even get you noticed faster and
called up to the big boys.
On
the other hand, Joe complains that after his experience with Emma and the
Carolina Storm, the league(s) perceived him as being trouble and he had to
prove himself otherwise. I guess Saul was a jerk and trashed his reputation?
Except there had never been any media linking Emma and Joe (until now) and I
can’t see Saul allowing Emma’s reputation to be trashed (even just within the
league(s)) in order to sabotage Joe.
Harlequin
Handwave time?
Reminiscing
time over, Joe asks Ross what to do. Given Ross’s answer, I sincerely hope that
Joe isn’t paying him very much.
“Figure out how to fix it, I guess,
within the perception of the public” (55).
To
be fair, “how to fix it…within the perception of the public” is more of a PR
person’s job than a lawyer’s. That said, that’s all the advice that Ross gives—he doesn’t even explain how the two
of them could start to actually annul
the marriage/get divorced.
But
since the two of them are each other’s Ones, I suppose that’s all right.
When
Emma complains that it’s impossible to change the public’s opinion on them, Joe
clearly has an Aha! moment and turns to her “as inspiration hit”. The chapter
ends without sharing what said inspiration is…
Aaaaaaaaaa! The hockey part pains me. The legal part pains me. The plot is riddled with assumptions that the truth could solve. I am in pain.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. I'm sorry to hear that I'm causing you pain. :(
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