The Fictional Hockey League

Critiquing hockey romance novels, of which there are many. Overthinking it is the point.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Offside: Post 20

Chapter 25: You Can’t Have it Both Ways

 Please note that posts may be a bit slapdash and a bit irregular through the month of March. My sincere apologies!

Also, hey, it's my 100th post! Neatokeen!

Chapter twenty-five opens post-coitus with Billie and Logan settling in to snuggle and talk. Logan asks what Billie’s news is and when she says she’s made a decision about her future plans, he asks if it’s to be his sex slave. There’s flirting after she says no, but eventually Billie explains she’s going to open her own hockey school. She’s going to pay to get ice installed at the town’s old rink, which is expensive, but “you don’t even want to know how much parents are willing to pay to have someone with my experienced teach their kids everything I know about hockey” (415).

Yes…. Except no. First, I’m surprised that a town as small as New Waterford is described as being just happens to have an abandoned rink sitting around. (That it was just left sit and a new one built with two sheets of ice instead of being added on to.) But okay, sure.  Second, yes, I think a former Olympian would be an excellent person to teach hockey… except given the climate in the town right now about Billie—where people are vandalizing her car and couples are fighting so badly with each other that they aren’t sleeping together, and where people laughed instead of bidding even a few bucks on Billie’s offer to, well, coach hockey during a charity event—it seems like an enormous gamble.

I mean, the auctioneer even said that the coaching would be a great opportunity for people’s kids or grandkids, and everyone laughed and made slut shaming jokes. What makes Billie willing to gamble her savings on those very same people being willing to bring their children to her hockey school? The only way that this makes sense is that the book is starting to wind up (we actually have 100 ebook pages left, but we’re 415 in, to give you some idea).

Don’t get me wrong—Billie has to win over the town.  The set-up of the book practically dictates that. But the only movement we’ve had toward that so far is a) Shane and Logan’s conversation about how stupid the town is being b) the girls’ team coach admitting he was wrong and c) Billie apparently having a good time with the her teammates at the bar when Logan got back to town. That doesn’t seem like enough to risk one’s entire financial security on as Billie is evidently doing.

Logan disagrees and thinks that Billie is amazing.

He also decides that this is the time to tell Billie that he wants to go public and about Betty. Of course, it takes a while for him to quite work up the words, so she thinks he’s breaking up with her. It’s as frustrating a conversation as it sounds.

Billie apparently no longer has any of the concerns she had a few weeks ago when she asked Logan to stay quiet about their relationship. Instead she just coyly asks, “Are you asking me to go steady, Mr. Forest?” (419) and acquiesces immediately. He has to tell her to wait (for more sex) because he needs to tell her about Betty, too.

“I slept with your sister.”
Shit. He went there (421).

She buys time by asking which one and he explains that it was a long time ago and he’d been drunk, and blah blah blah.

Pain crumpled around her heart and she was surprised at how much it still hurt that he didn’t know. After all this time (423).

Really, Billie? I mean, I know we haven’t really gotten into the fact that it seems highly incredibly super-dooper unlikely that Logan, even drunk, could have sex with one sister, identical or not, and not, y’know, notice the deception. But I’ll handwave that for the sake of fiction, I guess. But I don’t know that you can have it both ways—that these sisters look that similar, even in dress and mannerisms, that Logan couldn’t tell at the time AND that he’s supposed to have magically known because Billie has a vagina of magic sexy fun times of Twoo Wuv.

Also, again, she’s upset that he couldn’t magically tell it was her, not that she did something horrifically wrong. And perpetuates that first wrongness by, in fact, not coming clean here. She admits internally that she needs to confess and now is the time to do it, but instead she just says “okay,” in response to Logan’s confession and then demands more sex.

No, Billie. No that’s not actually okay.


  1. Euw. I don't want to think too much about this triplet mistaken identity stuff too much. I find it gross. Also, I hate the fake suspense. Talk to each other, then take on the town together. Of course, books that address issues in a timely, honest way are much shorter.

    Also, I'm starting to get excited about whatever book might be next.

    1. I officially finished this book last night and chose/started the next one. Despite reading the first chapter (and even drafting the first post) I still have zero idea of what to expect with this next one. But then, each one is an adventure. :D

  2. Clues, please. You know I want to guess.

    1. Another small town, but back to the thinly veiled not-NHL. Free agent signs with his hometown team and is immediately faced with his past mistakes. And by immediately, I mean train wreck in the first chapter!