Chapter 14: Seriously, book?
Seriously?
(The
Commissioner is still hoping for regular MWF updates, but can make no promises to
said regularity for the next few months, alas. This semester, and the Commissioner's Real Job and other events, have been tough and threaten to
continue to be. Also, for a mostly-unrelated but very cute picture of my vampire cat, check out yesterday's random Tuesday post.)
When
we left off, Billie had just been revealed to have been standing behind a group
of her friends(ish) bickering about her. Chapter 14, however, backs up a bit to
when Logan first enters the party, as Billie is already there and is instantly
aware of him as soon as he arrives. I’ll spare you the multiple paragraphs of
praise for how well Logan has grown into a man and how she’s now a woman and
not a girl.
Billie
is alone at the party because Connor (Logan’s veterinarian younger brother) who
brought her, has abandoned her for an animal emergency. (In case you’re wondering,
since this is a Halloween party, Connor had been dressed as Superman.) Gerald,
her sister’s creepy significant other, notices Billie all alone and checks on
her, which is sort of nice of him, but Billie just responds by thinking that in
his Rhett Butler costume he looks like an antebellum porn star. She makes her
excuses to escape him, mainly so that Bobbi doesn’t get even more mad at her
(the sisters are not talking, ever since the Public Display of Lust inna
Driveway), and this is when Tracy calls her over….
Which
means that Billie wasn’t actually standing right behind Eric Toothless Logan
during the last chapter but somewhere vaguely nearby?
After
admiring how Logan looks, although not knowing what he’s dressed as, Billie
reflects upon the fact that there had been only a single, solitary costume at
the costume-store in her size. Seriously? And what was said costume? Naughty
angel. Because of course. So it consists of a nearly transparent dress, a body
suit under it, feathery wings that are shedding, and thigh-high white boots.
This is not Billie’s usual garb and thus she’s uncomfortable.
I
can imagine a costume rental store being picked over, but completely out of any
other costumes? And Billie couldn’t choose to instead just throw something
together from her closet? I grant you, my closet (with my longing for a return
to my goth days, random pieces from renaissance faires, and various pieces that
have been used for plays and thus might be useful for another one) is probably
more interesting than Billie’s, since her only interest seems to be hockey. But
even so—surely she could throw something
together. Or borrow something from a friend. (The thigh high boots are already
borrowed from Tracy.) Something that she’s more comfortable in.
But
no. That wouldn’t serve the plot or make Logan’s mouth water.
Logan
and Billie make super awkward small talk about how Logan doesn’t know what he’s
dressed as (he only wore whatever his mom sent), that Billie got home safely
the night before, and her stitches (which have gone from 8 to 10 since actually
getting them.) Then Logan says that the previous night shouldn’t have happened.
He means that Sociopathic-Seth shouldn’t have attacked her, but Billie assumes that he means she shouldn’t be
playing.
“Logan, I know I asked for it. I
mean, I stole the puck off Seth more times than I can count. And I shot at
Cronkwright real steady, and not just at
Cronkwright,” she licked her lips but was unable to stop the train wreck that
was her mouth. “I mean, I hit his helmet at least a dozen times. Hard. A dozen
hard shots to the head and, well, at least five or six at his crotch. I…”
(235)
Remember
how I wrote in post 8 that I didn’t think it was a problem that Billie didn’t
rein in her skill and played better than the others? I’m not sure I agree completely
with myself any more. I mean, sure, steal the puck from Seth—that’s just
playing smart. But to consistently aim for a goalie’s head kind of sucks.
(There’s hints that the goalie is an asshat but it’s not shown so I can’t say
whether he deserves it.) It’s also just bad
playing. You don’t aim at the goalie. The goalie is there to stop the puck.
The purpose of the game is to get the puck past
the goalie and into the net.
Maybe
Billie’s not in Sweden anymore because the concussion made her forget the
purpose of the game.
Anyway,
Billie gets cut off by Logan grabbing her arms in order to tell her that she
did nothing wrong and that he’d told Sociopath-Seth that he has to behave or
get kicked out of the league. Billie
doesn’t seem to know how to respond to this and there’s a long moment of allllmooooossssst
kissing, but they’re interrupted by Logan’s mother having taken the stage to
announce that it’s time for the Live Auction and Billie immediately starts to
get nervous.
Apparently
Connor had talked Billie into auctioning off one-on-one coaching with her, as
the auctioneer announces.
Silence greeted his words. Not total
silence mind you since there were a few snickers that rang out
(239).
Traditionally,
as it turns out, the Live Auction is held late in the evening and Billie hadn’t
planned on being there for it. But since Logan’s mom moved it up, she was still
at the party. Even so, there were 20 minutes of auction between the announcement
of “Hey, we’re starting the auction” and “Up for bid, Billie Jo Barker’s
coaching skillz” so I don’t know why Billie didn’t, like, leave the party.
The
auctioneer gets flustered, since no one is bidding.
“What is wrong with you folks? This
is a great opportunity for your child or grandchild.”
“Or your husband,” someone quipped.
“Hell, maybe she’ll give a team
discount,” Sabrina Fairfax threw in… (241).
Hey
everybody! Public Slut Shaming! Fun! Isn’t this year’s Charity Fundraiser just the
bestest ever?! Come on, everyone join in! Fear the potential for another woman’s
sexuality! Billie wants to play hockey with men, that whore! So clearly she
must be sleeping with EVERYONE. The entire team at once! Orgies in the locker
room!
Seriously,
I don’t get this book.
Bobbi-Jo,
however, has had enough and she pushes through the crowd to snap at Sabrina.
Weirdly, the text doesn’t say what Sabrina is dressed as (only that she has “candy
red lips pulled back in a sneer”) but Bobbi-Jo is dressed as Scarlett O’Hara. I
like to think she’s in the curtain dress as all this happens, but the text
doesn’t specify.
The
two women are snapping at each other and it seems like Bobbi might be about to
physically attack Sabrina, so Logan bids a thousand dollars.
As
one does.
Well,
it’s pretty clear that Billie is the best player in the league so maybe he can
learn from her. On the other hand, since I’m certain they will sleep together by book’s end, he’s also sort of proving
Sabrina’s point.
Also?
The auctioneer announces, “Sold! To the man in black” (242). So I like to think
that the chapter actually ends here with Johnny Cash having purchased Billie’s
hockey lesson.
