Chapter Fifteen & Sixteen: Complications
are Complicated
A
great deal of romance novel plots could be vastly simplified and conflict
overcome if characters would just talk
to one another. And while Ryan and Jenna certainly have some things they ought
to be talking about, I’m actually impressed that Nick, after the second round
of illicit sex, has here decide to simply ask
Jenna what she thinks of it all, rather than assuming or, more likely for this
particular novel, sitting around moping that he doesn’t know what she’s
thinking. That’s the upside. The downside is that she doesn’t have an answer
for him.
To
be fair, she’s actually quite blindsided by the question and by Nick’s
confession that he not only likes her a great deal but that he has for a while.
He clenched his jaw and rolled onto
his back again, retracting his arms, crooking his elbows, and placing his hands
behind his head as he looked back up at his white ceiling. Nick supposed that
Jenna would be feeling confused at a time
like this, but the answer was so obvious to him. He knew. (102, emphasis original)
Thanks,
Nick, for your understanding and patience. Asshat. Yeah, I think Jenna’s an
idiot for not dumping Ryan’s ass years ago, but I’m a cynic and as a reader, have
access to information that Nick does not. Nick isn’t even thinking about
Jenna-and-Ryan, he’s only thinking about Jenna-and-himself. So his
self-righteous indignation at Jenna’s uncertainty is not only unwelcome, it’s
selfish.
(Also,
is it just me or does the first line of that description, where Nick rolls
over, read as if he’s some kind of cyborg, “retracting his arms” and all? Even
without that particular word choice, that’s a clunky set of descriptors.)
The
conversation continues, and Nick asks Jenna if she loves Ryan and she says that
she does, although the perspective-jumping narrative also explains that she
doesn’t understand how she can love him, since she’s now cheating on him. It’s
as if there is only One Correct Way to Love, and that if anything deviates from
that definition, it’s not actually love. Oh wait… this is romance novel
conservatism; I forgot. There is only One True Way to Love. (I’m not
condoning cheating. I’m simply suggesting that love can be way more complicated
and way less on or off than this novel is suggesting. The same thing happened
when Jenna pondered if love can’t actually conquer all. Welcome to the real
world, Jenna—things are actually complex.)
When
Nick asks how he fits into her life, given that she still loves Ryan, Jenna
reiterates that she doesn’t know, and that’s where the chapter ends. But I’m
going to keep going since the scene simply continues on the next page/next
chapter so the break feels particularly arbitrary.
Nick
demands to know what she means by “I don’t know,” which… seems pretty self-explanatory
to me. Maybe the concussion is still affecting Nicks’ brain powers? Yet Jenna
tries to explain, but she cuts herself off when she realizes that Nick makes
her feel things that she no longer feels with Ryan.
The words she was thinking would
have sounded ridiculous if she had said them out loud. Brand new. Special. Sought
after. Cared for. Appreciated. She hadn’t felt that way lately with Ryan.
Not since he didn’t care about the wedding. But was that changing now, since he
had finished the guest list? (103, emphasis
original)
Hoo-boy.
Where to start unpacking this?
First,
all those feelings? I’m not mocking those. Those are things that you should
want, generally, in a relationship. However, it seems to me that those were not
feelings that Ryan so much elicited in Jenna ever—I think the idea of Ryan
elicited those feelings for her. Because there’s no evidence, frankly, that
this is a relationship that has gone sour but rather that it was an unequal and
underappreciated relationship (on Ryan’s side) since day one. Not “since he
didn’t care about the wedding,” but ever. He only makes an effort in the relationship,
as we’ve seen, when he’s either afraid of losing Jenna or feels the need to
make a territorial claim on her in public. Finally, the last sentiment is
utterly ridiculous. Please excuse my sarcasm for a moment: Yeah, things are
changing now because Ryan bothered to spend 30 minutes quickly jotting down a
guest list. Surely now Jenna knows she’s special and appreciated. (I won’t say “brand
new” because that seems silly.)
Then
Nick goes and pulls the douchebag card. “It’s
me or him” (104). How about neither? Can I vote for neither? He says crap
like this as if this has been a years-long torture for him, and I guess it
could have been, but Jenna never knew he had feelings for her until minutes ago. I get that they’re in a
crappy situation, and he doesn’t want to do “this” to himself or Ryan, but for
heaven’s sake, dude.
He
sullenly admits that this choice is a big deal for Jenna but admits (to the
reader) that he had expected her to “instantly
switch sides” (104). That’s… not how real life works. It just isn’t. Life
is so much more messy and complicated and full of repercussions. So my memo to
Nick: grow up.
On
the other hand, Jenna might be taking the decision a bit too far in the other
direction. When Nick recants and tells her to take her time, she thanks him.
So many people’s happiness was
hanging in the balance, completely up to her (104).
Well.
Hers is up to her. And that’s pretty much the only overall happiness she’s
responsible for. You can’t make someone else be happy. But let’s accept that
she’s using the term happiness here as more of a statement about her decision
will potentially make people unhappy. (And again here I don’t mean overall
unhappiness, I mean cause people some pain.) I’m a firm believer in doing what’s
right for yourself (and doing your best to mitigate hurting other people!) because
you can’t actually be particularly good to other people if you aren’t good to
yourself first, but I know not everyone agrees with me on that.
Even
so, let’s actually think about who her decision affects beyond herself.
Ryan:
If she stays with him, nothing changes regarding his happiness. If she leaves
him, he’ll be unhappy. (How unhappy and why precisely are questions for another
time.
Nick:
The corollary to Ryan. If she stays with Ryan, Nick will be unhappy. If she
acts (further) on her feelings for Nick, he’ll be happy.
So,
that’s … two people’s happiness beyond her own? Is that really “so many”?
If
we broaden the definition to ask whom her decision will affect, not in a grand
happiness sense but in some fashion, were she to leave Ryan for Nick, then we
can pretty quickly follow the slippery slope into mind-boggling numbers.
Her
parents: Would probably be put out at having to explain
their daughter’s leaving the man she’s been with for eight years (unmarried!),
since they’re already annoyed with her for having to explain to their “socialite
friends” the current situation. But if they aren’t happy for their daughter’s
happiness, then screw them.
Ryan’s
parents: Since it was his mother who finally convinced Ryan
to propose to Jenna, one has to assume they’d be a bit angry.
The
Chicago Blackhawks: A personal life shake-up like this,
particularly between teammates, would make for a super awkward locker room and
could seriously affect their game play. This could result in lost games, lost
playoff runs, player trades, etc.
Blackhawks
fans:
If the team plays badly because of Jenna’s decision, then fans would be
unhappy, too. And unhappy fans could lead to riots and vandalism and widespread carnage and economic losses and possibly violence!
So,
yes, Jenna. THE FATE OF CHICAGO IS IN YOUR HANDS.
Wasn’t
there, like, supposed to be hockey in this book somewhere? This lying about in
bedrooms pondering relationship stuff makes me long for the simplicity of Body Check’s improbable ice skating
scene.
Anyway,
Nick decides he’s going to out-love all the other men in her life (ie: Ryan) so
she’ll have to choose him. Then they kiss and Jenna wonders if a kiss is “an emotional thing or a physical thing?” (105)
which pretty much sums up my point that Jenna sees things in black or white
instead of as a functioning adult. A kiss can be either, both, or neither,
after all.
No comments:
Post a Comment