The Fictional Hockey League

Critiquing hockey romance novels, of which there are many. Overthinking it is the point.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Play the Man: Post 9

Chapter Four: Hair Cuts & Sex Jokes

Alex and Jenna are at his apartment, Skyping with Alex. Shockingly, Ryan has gotten a haircut. (I’ve not mentioned it, but in the previous two chapters Jenna thought to herself that Ryan’s hair had been getting too long and she had to remember to make him a hair appointment when he returns to Chicago.) Alex thinks it looks stupid.

Jenna took offense to that comment since she was so proud of Ryan for taking the initiative to get a haircut on his own while he was out on the road (31).

Aww. Widdle Wyan is making pwogwess at being an adult.

Jenna decides to play a joke on Ryan. It’s out of character for her as far as we’ve seen thus far, and she even mentions that it’s not her usual sense of humor so the guys might not get it. She perches on Alex’s lap and pretends that they’ve just had sex and says that Alex is better than her fiancé. When both men get angry, she responds.

“Not so funny when I joke about it, huh? I hope this makes you think twice next time you allow me to be the butt of this clown’s jokes” (32 emphasis original).

Ryan responds to this by telling Alex that he can no longer joke about Jenna, and that in turn she’s going to get a get a “severe spanking” when he gets back to town (32 emphasis original). Once again, the only way to get a reaction out of Ryan about Jenna is to threaten to take her away. It’s like a kid with a toy he doesn’t play with anymore until a parent threatens to give it to charity. Suddenly it’s his favorite.

Then it gets worse.

Alex began to holler and yell, about how it was his computer and his house so she needed to start acting more submissive (32).

Excuse me? She needs to what now? Who the hell, outside of bdsm erotica, tells someone to be more submissive? Tells someone whose relationship is “fiancée of best friend” to be more submissive? Maybe I’m not as sweet as Jenna but no, I wouldn’t put up with this. I’d come by and drop off whatever Alex needed, maybe, but not hang out.

Apparently Ryan’s mother has continued to nag Jenna about a wedding date, so she asks Ryan to just help her set one. He suggests February 30th. This man is a charmer, folks. A charmer who ends the chapter and Skype conversation by telling Alex he’s glad he’s not on the roadtrip with the team because now he has the room to himself and can have Skype-sex with Jenna.

Jenna blushed. Of course everyone knew that she and Ryan had sex… But it was embarrassing for Ryan to talk about it so openly in front of someone else, especially someone as despicable as Alex. She could only imagine how the guys talked in the dressing room when she wasn’t around (34).

I’m sure dressing room talk can get pretty raunchy. Even the co-ed teams I’ve played with have had off-color conversations in the locker rooms. (On the other hand, it’s incredibly easy to make the guys feel awkward in the dressing room by discussing stereotypically girly things, like when I asked a female teammate about her manicure). So she’s probably not wrong. But there’s a difference between saying things in the locker room (which granted Ryan should probably not be so open about their sex life if Jenna doesn’t want him to be) and embarrassing her in front of his teammate. Again.

I’m beginning to hate this book as well as this couple.

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