Chapters 13: A Swarm of
Hogs
Then
the main plot takes over again with Axel driving his Escalade and surrounded by
bikers. (The phrase “a swarm of Hogs bearing down on him” (130) I must admit
made me laugh.) The bikers push him off the road and Axel knows what to expect.
…there would be a
representative goon out there. Axel understood the job of the enforcer all too
well. It was a role he’d taken on with every team he’d ever played for (131).
I
feel that this might be trying a little too hard to shoehorn in the
similarities. Plus, there’s a whole herd of biker surrounding Axel’s car, so
aren’t they all enforcers?
The
“representative goon” tells Axel to follow them or they’ll go back and hurt
Jennifer, so they all drive on and end up in some run-down suburbs and a
convenient, boarded-up warehouse. Because of course they do. As they approach
the Warehouse of Clichés, Axel can hear the guitar riffs of Stereotype Southern
Rock. From this formulaic Biker Land appears Jaako Latt, apparently the
long-time boss of the Helsinki branch who speaks in sentences that are
presumably meant to show off that English is not his first language but which
sound like Generic Foreigner. Some examples:
“The internet is not
secure for our business, I do not think” (132).
“You will pay to keep the
crimes of your past a secret from your American fans and the woman you kiss on
television. This way, you protect your endorsement deals, yes?... One time
payment. Cash. Say, three million?” (133).
Axel
is about to agree, mostly to keep Jennifer safe but also a little bit because
he thinks Jaako is right about the endorsement deals. Given how long ago Axel’s
‘crimes’ were and mitigated by the context of his youth, I have a hard time
thinking that he’d lose all that many deals. He’d be celebrated for turning his
life around and making good. I really don’t understand the biker gang’s thought
process on what they think they have hanging over Axel (except Jennifer, but
she showed up on their radar after they’d started threatening him.)
Speaking
of Jennifer, she answers for Axel, having randomly shown up at the Abandoned
Warehouse of Biker Clichés, having been captured by a biker who found her in a
tree. Yes, in a tree. She was trying to film what was going on, but apparently
though a boarded-up window. I’m a little unclear on how she planned on
succeeding, but I’m also unclear as to how the “half-wit teenage biker” (133)
found her in the tree.
Jennifer
immediately starts pointing out that even though they have now broken her
camera, all the data immediately uploads so she has evidence of blackmail. I
know that back at the beginning of the book we covered the fact that the video
cameras immediately upload all data, but that was at the practice rink which I
assumed was set up with wi-fi. I have a hard time imagining that the Run-Down
Suburban Abandoned Warehouse of Motorcycle Gang Stereotypes is particularly
set-up for high-speed uploading. But sure.
Jennifer’s
claims, regardless of their veracity, don’t bother Jaako, King of the Helsinki
Bikers. He points out that she won’t use the film because it would ruin Axel’s
career. See above re: my point that I personally don’t believe it would hurt it
his career all that much but whatever. Jennifer believes it and immediately
backs down. On the bright side, she was clever enough to call the police so
they’re apparently on their way.
But
all of Jennifer’s self-recriminations, which she briefly castigated herself
with about becoming a liability in the situation, are short-lived because Axel finally declares that he’s going to go
“public with [his] past” and points out that even if he doesn’t make it back
safely that night, Kyle will go to the media with the information. He goes on
to explain, although frankly this hardly seems the time as they are surrounded
by heavily-armed biker clichés, that he’ll use his background to help kids stay
out of similar trouble.
Then
the police sirens start and the bikers flee. Axel grabs Jennifer and forces her
to crouch with him behind the Suburban Abandoned Warehouse’s makeshift bar.
She’s all confused, thinking that he’s hiding from the police, but then gunfire
starts and Axel protects her body with his.
As
soon as said gunfire ceases, which as far as I can tell is pretty much
immediately, all Jennifer wants to know is if Axel wants to be with her.
Seriously, lady? You couldn’t wait until you aren’t hiding behind broken
crates, maybe a few more minutes since you and Axel were threatened at
gunpoint. You couldn’t maybe more about how he is physically or emotionally,
having faced his past’s boogeyman? Nope. But she doesn’t get an answer because
the police actually use a bullhorn to announce at them “Come out with your
hands up!” and the chapter ends (136).
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