The Fictional Hockey League

Critiquing hockey romance novels, of which there are many. Overthinking it is the point.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Body Check: Post 10-

Chapter Five: Sharks and van Gogh and porn, oh my!

Essentially, this entire scene is Hayden justifying to herself having sex with Brody again, set to the background of what’s she’s watching on television.

She brews herself a mug of green tea (good taste) and settles in to watch a biography of van Gogh. “Since she was teaching an entire course on him next semester, she figured she ought to get reacquainted with the guy” (67). I find that a bit odd because two paragraphs later the text tells us that van Gogh is in fact Hayden’s favorite artist. It seems unusual that she knows enough to have been assigned or permitted a semester course on the guy, and he’s her “favorite artist”, but she needs a biography to get “reacquainted,” particularly since it’s a biography she’s not seen before so it could be inaccurate. HOWEVER, I admit in this instance it could just be me. I personally cannot stand to watch movies (or tv shows), whether they’re meant to be fact or fiction, about what I teach for fun's sake. I can watch them for research or to prepare for teaching or to possibly use in class or whatever, but I don’t find them enjoyable, as Hayden does, because I’m too hyperaware of inaccuracies and differing opinions and things that are just plain wrong. So, YMMV on Hayden’s choice here.

That said, it’s moot since said biography doesn’t seem to be playing. Instead, Hayden finds a documentary about sharks. 

“The great white does not chew his food. Rather he takes massive bites and swallows the pieces whole.”

Yeah, like Brody… No Brody thoughts allowed, missy (67 emphasis original).

I… what? Not the part about the shark; I buy that. And not the part where Hayden is trying not to think of Brody; I get that, too. But the comparison? What the hell? Brody takes massive bites and swallows the pieces whole? We’ve never seen him eat literal food, so maybe he does that. I assume, however, that the analogy is supposed to be something sexual, in which case it’s just seriously disturbing.

Hayden quickly bores of the shark documentary and changes to something called The Secretary, thinking it’s a sitcom. Instead, it’s porn. I get that it’s a hotel so there are probably porn channels, but since she’s using a screen guide, shouldn’t she have quickly gotten a clue from the listing? Then again, this is a character who cannot understand a hockey score board. I initially assumed that this was a reference to the 2002 film, Secretary, which, while not technically porn certainly borders on it (and depicts a BDSM relationship.) However, the dialogue that the narrative includes is unrelated.

Even though Hayden laughs at the porn, her thoughts continue to circle around Brody. While she’s worried that agreeing to a fling with Brody will mean he’ll want even more (which is odd since he has not indicated to her that this would be the case), she finally gives in and calls him, which ends the chapter.

(You’d think a post with the title I gave this one would be more interesting, but alas, no.)

1 comment:

  1. Yeah, I think "Sharks and van Gogh and Porn, Oh My" should be a crackfic. (Am I offering to write it? No. DANGIT.)

    I have some serious qualms about the shark/sex thing. And I am fond of some seriously tortured analogies. Not that one.