tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7479371078277387114.post6673987044145016198..comments2023-06-05T06:34:31.951-04:00Comments on The Fictional Hockey League: Offside: Post 8The Commissionerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16675159425028120684noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7479371078277387114.post-308395801755109262015-02-02T08:59:21.565-05:002015-02-02T08:59:21.565-05:00When I play hockey, I'm wearing a sports bra, ...When I play hockey, I'm wearing a sports bra, a long-sleeved, tight-fitting shirt, my shoulder pads, which of course cover most of my chest, including under my sides, and then my jersey. The narrative says that the stick got up under Billie's jersey, then scratched her under the arm. The only thing that makes sense is that she's not wearing a shirt over the bra and that it scratched her armpit. Because frankly, everything else is protected until below the shoulder pads' velcro bits, which would be practically at her waist. (I'm short torso-ed, so there's less space between my shoulder pads' velcro and my breezers than maybe on Billie, but even so there'd not be a lot of room for vulnerability, and it would pretty much be her waist at that point and thus not repeatedly described as a gash "under her arm.") <br /><br />But I've also never seen a woman play hockey without wearing a shirt between her sports bra and gear, because gear is gross. <br /><br />(Unlike, say Chris Higgins, who is neither gross nor wears a shirt. I expect he also does not wear a sports bra. I COMPLETELY agree that I should abide by the aforementioned Chris Higgins's Abs Law, but this necessitates MORE PHOTOS of said abs. I felt bad not including one in this post, but I think I've used all the ones that float about on the web. Someone must take more. I, uh, volunteer. It's a tough job but someone has to do it. I'll be in Vancouver in April, should Mr. Higgins care to make himself and his abs available to me. Uh, to photograph. I've just noticed that tragically his Wikipedia page makes no mention of his abs.<br /><br />And omg yes to your point about the blood. The first time I read the chapter's end, I totally pictured it as like a pool of blood. The second time, when I realized Billie isn't, y'knw, collapsing, I figured a circular sort of spray of blood. But... <br /><br />The gash took "more than eight stitches" we learn (which is a really weird description and it gets up to 10 stitches in a later chapter.) I can say that I have, in fact, had an injury that took more than 8 stitches (it took 12: 4 internal, 8 external.) And there was a significant amount of blood-- since it was on my knee, it soaked my sock. But there was no pooling, no spray. As far as I know, it *all* went into my sock and left nothing on the floor. (This was not a hockey injury. It was, uh, an escalator injury, actually.) Had I been wearing hockey gear, you're completely correct, the padding and layers of clothes would have soaked up most of it, just as my (ordinary) sock did. (Had I been wearing hockey gear I'd not have been in a mall, and I certainly wouldn't have cut open my knee because *knee pads* but I'm getting away from your point here.) <br /><br />At best, there'd be blood on her jersey-- and if it were a dark colored jersey, you might not even notice it. There'd probably be blood on the inside padding of her shoulder pads. The outside part wouldn't soak it up very well, but her "long johns" (since everyone's wearing them... har har) would also take up most of it. So yeah. The hockey makes a lot more sense than this injury (OR the one that's keeping Billie from playing in Sweden and wooing the attractive, progressive, egalitarian, tall blonds.)The Commissionerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16675159425028120684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7479371078277387114.post-10595707356139524542015-02-02T08:22:00.509-05:002015-02-02T08:22:00.509-05:00YES! This is the part I don't understand, if s...YES! This is the part I don't understand, if she can play, why is she not in Sweden? Did she go home for romance? I've been to Sweden, and not only are the guys tall, blonde, and hot, but they are very egalitarian about child care duties. Heck, a look around the NHL will tell you how attractive Swedes are.<br /><br />Also, the injury part. Although we are analyzing this incident more closely than a C.S.I. team, I don't know how a stick can do that much damage. Or the logistics of even getting it inside the jersey and up to the supposedly bare parts. And how can all this blood pouring out and pooling? Unless it's an arterial cut, there's not that much blood. If she's standing, it would get absorbed by her other equipment. <br /><br />You're right, the author does know her hockey. If not for the logical issues, it could have been a contender for the hockey romance hall of fame, which I have just invented.<br /><br />Also, there's a law that states you can't mention Chris Higgins's abs without a photo.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com