tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7479371078277387114.post4033476602420704097..comments2023-06-05T06:34:31.951-04:00Comments on The Fictional Hockey League: Play the Man: Post 15The Commissionerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16675159425028120684noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7479371078277387114.post-78807846968739137092014-10-17T15:35:54.425-04:002014-10-17T15:35:54.425-04:00I fixed it. :DI fixed it. :DThe Commissionerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16675159425028120684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7479371078277387114.post-34625446180208573482014-10-17T15:34:28.245-04:002014-10-17T15:34:28.245-04:00GLORIOUS.
Sergei pleases me greatly.
The whole ...GLORIOUS.<br /><br />Sergei pleases me greatly. <br /><br />The whole thing pleases me greatly, in fact. You win.Duck Village Binderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08704367606113001689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7479371078277387114.post-43342063785691066572014-10-17T12:50:24.567-04:002014-10-17T12:50:24.567-04:00And Alex, the asshat best friend, falls madly and ...And Alex, the asshat best friend, falls madly and truly in love with a guy who works in concessions. He realizes that his terrible actions towards women have all been a cover for his own sexual insecurity. Sadly, the concessions guy breaks Alex's heart. But Alex uses his new-found wisdom and hockey fame to campaign for women's rights and for QUILTBAG rights. Eventually he meets his future husband and lives happily ever after.<br /><br />(Alex as written doesn't deserve such a good ending but I figured I was fairly dark with all the other comments....) ;)The Commissionerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16675159425028120684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7479371078277387114.post-74131684426067764582014-10-17T12:45:56.223-04:002014-10-17T12:45:56.223-04:00He starts food fights, can't be trusted to tel...He starts food fights, can't be trusted to tell other players when to do anything, won't help out his teammates, and doesn't go to optional skates. There is NOTHING about this character that says he ought to be team captain. Hell, everything about this characters says he's a first year rookie destined to be stuck on the fourth line forever or bounced from team to team, regardless of how much natural talent he might have. <br /><br />Yeah, later in the book I go into detail about the no income thing. <br /><br />Oh yes. The book ends with Sergei the Russian goalie, a giant of a man with a wingspan that can cover post to post, finally getting fed up with Captain Ryan's stupidity and his treatment of Jenna. The Blackhawks/Red Wings playoff series goes very violently, because the Blackhawks want revenge on the Wings for the hit on Nick that gave him the (magical) concussion. Sergei sees this as an opportunity. During an on-ice, bench-clearing brawl (one that would see many, many players get fines), Sergei "accidentally" trips his captain to the ice and in the confusion, hits him several times with his stick and lands on his chest when he himself gets hit by a Red Wings player. (He wouldn't have needed to fall, but found that since Ryan was on the ice below him, he valued the opportunity to sit on his captain, violently, over the bruising his ego would take for being seen as getting felled by another player. <br /><br />Sadly for Ryan, in the melee that has ensued, his calf gets cut by a player's skate-- no one ever could figure out, despite replays, whose. Ryan had refused to wear the Kevlar socks that some players have chosen to put on under their shin guards. This means that while he will play again, it won't be during these playoffs. Furthermore, his conduct within the brawl-- he started it-- makes the coaching staff reconsider Ryan's overall conduct as captain. Since he's a bag of dicks, he has his "C" removed, albeit he's told it's temporary until he's back on the ice next season. Instead, he's traded to Winnipeg. In Canada, fans and coaches don't put up with such nonsense, and after a season where he spends more time off the ice than on, he's sent down to the AHL team. His ego cannot handle this, so he retires from hockey. <br /><br />Unfortunately, he has absolutely no skills whatsoever and he ends up in massive amounts of debt, living in a terribly dirty house (he has no fiancee to clean for him), living off of ramen (he has no fiancee to cook for him), and begging people to let him play in their beer leagues. Obviously he's better than beer league play so people want him, at first, as a ringer, but when it becomes clear that he's a bag of dicks, they don't let him do even that much. <br /><br />Finally, he ends up on Battle of the Blades, but he is quickly eliminated (for being a bag of dicks.) He drinks himself to eventual death in complete obscurity. Once in a while he'll be mentioned by sportscasters when a new player turns out to be a bag of dicks and gets compared to Ryan.<br /><br />Sergei gets traded to a team that is not full of bags of dicks and goes on to win a Cup.<br /><br />As for Nick, he gets another concussion and the inept Blackhawks trainers again don't force him to go to the hospital and this time he's not in love with someone who can convince him to go. It turns out it's a brain bleed. He survives but can never play hockey again. <br /><br />Jenna realizes that while she loves art, she knows absolutely nothing about academia and quits grad school to run a day care, since she has so many mothering skills she learned from taking care of her fiance.<br /><br />Katie, the art history friend, has a brief fling with Nick before his tragic second concussion but dumps him because he, too, is an asshat. She then gets her masters and PhD in art history and becomes a successful art historian, not only teaching at a respected university(with her actual PhD, unlike Hayden from Body Check) but also studying art therapy and helping children on the autism spectrum.The Commissionerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16675159425028120684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7479371078277387114.post-36149354454532059682014-10-17T12:08:08.673-04:002014-10-17T12:08:08.673-04:00Oh yes. Worst team captain. Would punch & have...Oh yes. Worst team captain. Would punch & have team coup. Because seriously does anyone trust him with anything important, like playing hockey with others? I hope not. He obvs can't be trusted to behave like anything other than a petulant six-year-old.<br /><br />Oh no no no no no no no no no no no the no income of her own is a giant fucking red flag.<br /><br />But seriously tell me the book ends with a goalie crushing him for being a complete bag of dicks. (I know it doesn't. LIE TO ME.)Duck Village Binderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08704367606113001689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7479371078277387114.post-15727104783613625812014-10-17T11:06:19.302-04:002014-10-17T11:06:19.302-04:00I suspect the author picked artists at random. &qu...I suspect the author picked artists at random. "Surrealist? Let's ask Google!" Which... is more than she did for a concussion... <br /><br />Also, let me point out that Ryan isn't just a shitty teammate-- HE'S A SHITTY TEAM CAPTAIN. Ugh. You know, a team really takes a lot of its identity from a captain, well if s/he has a strong personality, and I would hate a team that has Ryan's identity. Oh wait... I already loathe the Blackhawks. ;) (Although not for its captain, irl.) <br /><br />Later in the book Nick suggests that Jenna go to Italy on her own, actually. But she can't. Because she has literally no money of her own. Zero income. (She'll later need to consider asking her parents for a ticket home to NH.) <br /><br />Terrible teammate, terrible romantic partner... she wants him to go see ONE painting with her then spend the rest of the evening doing whatever he wants. But no, "I don't get art." Ugh. <br /><br />Loathe these characters. Loathe. The Commissionerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16675159425028120684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7479371078277387114.post-83898280248540174752014-10-17T10:42:15.606-04:002014-10-17T10:42:15.606-04:00Why Picasso and Chagall? (I mean, Chicago has some...Why Picasso and Chagall? (I mean, Chicago has some great Chagall (and Picasso), but I have my doubts that this author even knows that.) Do people really think "Chagall" when someone says "surrealist?"<br /><br />*sigh* I can't even parse the whole Baroque/Renaissance thing, honestly. (Realism. Ugh. I hate it when people go all "realism" ... but then again, I love surrealists.)<br /><br />Also, this asshole is a shitty teammate. Both assholes. I know it's a romance novel and all, but I really would like Jenna to run off to ... eh, she likes the Renaissance, Italy or something. Alone. At least without these fuckwits. They can console one another with terrible console games.Duck Village Binderyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08704367606113001689noreply@blogger.com